Rejection online dating websites

29 Mar

Happily, we’re here to help Rejection can occur at all different stages in the dating process.

Right at the beginning you might send a match a one liner and they don’t respond at all; you may be chatting on line and they suddenly cut contact or block you; you may go on a first date and you think it has gone really well but they decide they don’t want to see you again or you may have been on a few dates and then they change their mind.

None of us likes to be rejected, and if we have any empathy about us at all we’re uncomfortable inflicting pain and/or embarrassment on someone – especially since that person’s only crime is thinking we’re kinda neat. When I first signed up for back in 2010 I didn’t know the rules. It turns out that I much prefer being ignored to being acknowledged in cases of rejection.

I remember feeling obliged, when I got a message from a woman who didn’t interest me, to try and craft a nice reply that didn’t make her feel bad about herself. If there’s no contact, it’s harder to take it personally.

You may not be interested, but you can’t just pretend that the person isn’t standing there talking to you. So we have developed all manner of ways of saying no thanks, in what is hopefully the kindest way possible. And a couple times, women I have written to actually have replied with nice no thank you messages. And – here’s the odd part – a little uncomfortable.

3 dates a week doesn’t sound abnormal for OK Cupid. As many people have mentioned in previous threads, OKC attracts a number of time wasters.

That site is heavily populated by folks not terribly interested in anything beyond attention or a casual relationship. I’m going to guess that you’re a quantity over quality person.

Whichever stage it happens at how it affects you will depend very much on how you think about it.

Although it may feel very hurtful it is not you as a person that is being rejected.